‘The Student’
Emphasising the word ‘the’ in the title is deliberate because it implies the existence of a typical example, an example which exists most prevalently in headlines. Casting an eye back over a few months, ‘students’ have ‘demanded refunds and safety-nets’ whilst at the same time ‘hosting parties which ignore all guidelines.’ Speaking as a student, I can tell you I wish I had the time do even half of what the papers report. The point I wish to outline is that in the midst of an unprecedented pandemic we’ve grouped together, labelled, categorized and caricatured every group of society. Some of this has been part of vital scientific research and important national organization. However, much of it has overlooked the importance of individual perspective and the uniqueness of each and every human experience. So here is mine.
My first encounter with the pandemic was in Italy in April as a member of staff on the ski trip. Stepping off the plane and facing down the barrel of a temperature gun, I never once imagined that in the space of two months I would have my exams cancelled, my residence closed, and I would be forced into a long-distance relationship. In fact, even after returning from the trip and reviewing the experience with friends who were anxious to hear about life in a virus rife country, I had to inform them everything was as normal there as it was in England. We all said our good-byes. We made our preparations to leave, which meant stowing 8 weeks’ worth of supplies into a cupboard for our return and leaving it to avalanche on an unsuspecting victim.
We were told we wouldn’t be returning. The next time I saw my friends for a drink it wasn’t at the pub but on ‘zoom’. The next time I saw my tutor they were a pixelated face on a screen. Just writing this paragraph I have stopped several times to make sure I have the timeline correct. The important sentiment being that as the country crawled to a halt, life sprinted ahead as realisation upon realisation piled up.
The paradox being that as the pressure mounted anxiety was forced to the forefront of your mind, but you had ample time to sit down and think everything through.
After this initial ‘to and fro’, the turbulence settled, and the dust rested and taking stock of it all I think I realised online learning hadn’t been as beneficial as promised. There was quite a sense of unchecked knowledge and some genuine understanding felt encased behind a wall of stress. However, the summer had arrived and alongside the long days came a sense of clarity and life untangled itself. The knowledge I had picked up was consolidated and my online mock exams were a success. Having had time now to reflect on university life online I can appreciate it does have positive and tangible effects. Everything just takes twice as long.
The theme of the summer in many ways was rekindling, and the summer months took on an appearance of spring’s rebirth. The pursuit of hobbies and socialising now took on a whole new dimension as they offered portals to life as it was, but they presented fresh challenges. A taste of normality returned and seeing friends was now possible, you just needed to be organised with booking restaurants and finding the park equidistant between everyone. I got to climb again, with a new climbing partner, which lifted my mental health through the roof with it being a familiar comfort sprinkled with a refreshing twist. Online cadet activity offered a connection back to QM and also offered the sense of familiarity with a new twist. I even managed to spend time with my girlfriend caring for her clinically vulnerable brother. It was the last piece of the puzzle from the previous four months which had culminated in me understanding myself in ways I had not before. Lockdown, online learning and post-lockdown life had taught me I needed to learn to find drive and motivation within myself as much as I could look for it in life, experiences and those around me.
The return to university in December in many ways was the most unexpected challenge of pandemic student life. Those that I have spoken to certainly agree with me. Life in isolation and personal revaluation had been universal, and as such communal living now felt confined and fractured at times. Living together certainly kept us sane and happy and without the company of others some of the sinking feelings no doubt would have become tsunamis. However, whenever the outside world offered the fear of transmitting the disease or the pressure of keeping track of guidelines and rapidly increasing piles of work, everyone withdrew into themselves. Taking our tests before returning home and discussing what we were all returning to was the final reminder that once life does return to normality, connecting with people again wouldn’t be immediate, no matter how much everyone knew it would be vital. Perhaps we had spent so long looking down at our phones it now felt alien to be able to hold eye contact in a conversation.
To focus on the headlines or the major political hotspots would be to miss the very idea that people have faced down a pandemic whilst still campaigning for causes like Black Lives Matter. Whilst still working incredibly hard to provide an education. Whilst still manning food banks. All of this will have required an extraordinary sense of personal dedication from individuals and it is these stories that matter most, and we should endeavor to reveal. Hopefully as the arts drag themselves back onto their feet these stories can be told to an extent never before seen. So, anyone who has been in a group which had been categorised as something like the elderly, the left/right wing or the students, remember it is your personal story which matters.
Kodi Beveridge-Smith
(QM 2011-18)